Am I a highly sensitive person, neurodivergent or do I have trauma symptoms? (Or am I the secret fourth category…)
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
If you’re anything like me, the question you might be asking yourself, friends or doctors right now might be ‘what’s wrong with me…?’. Perhaps you’re currently trying to understand yourself better, your series of symptoms or the intensity of your experience.
Considering this when learning ‘the labels’ or categorisations can be empowering as they can help you make sense of yourself as well as your reality. It also enables you to know what you are seeking help with, you can find your specialist or develop a support system to manage those needs.
So I'm going to make this very simple for you and start with the answer to the question posed in the title, which is you could be experiencing all three - you might be a highly sensitive person, who is neurodiverse, dealing with trauma symptoms (you may also be the secret 4th category…). I know I was.
You might very well be on the spectrum of each category... I absolutely love the word spectrum, because for me it supports the varying shades of grey which is the reality of our situations (rather than black and white). When you are on the spectrum it means you may be affected by some but not all the traits or experiences, you could be affected to varying degrees, i.e. you might resonate a little with one category but fully identify with another.
However before we dive in, I just want to say that the opinions in this blog are based on decades of unpacking my personal experience, as well as my learning and observations as a Therapist who works with HSP’s. I am not a specialist in neurodiversity, however I do work with trauma symptoms - but I’m not a researcher in any of these areas. This is not a scientific paper!
Highly Sensitive Personality
In 2023 a Guardian article titled ‘The Missing Personality Type’: could you be a Highly Sensitive Person was published and I would agree with this. In my experience there is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) personality type which is often born out of experiences of exposure to trauma - more on that to come.
When psychologist Elaine Aron wrote her book, highly sensitive person - she suggested that 15 - 20% of the population is highly sensitive. I have also seen figures suggesting that it’s actually 30% percent. She says that HSP’s are a subset of the population who are high in a personality trait, known as ‘sensory processing sensitivity’ SPS, which increases emotional sensitivity leading to a complex inner life as well as physical sensitivity to the external environment as well as pain. (Elaine Aron also says that HSP’s have often experienced trauma).
I would say due to our SPS our experience as highly sensitive people of somatic empathy (‘experiencing what others feel while being aware that this vicarious state is produced by someone else’ - Keysers) is something we can experience more intensely than most (although we are not always aware I have to say!). This ability can then underline some of the traits of highly sensitive people, alongside the survival habits that developed into our personality such as…
Physically you are:
Sensitive to atmospheres or tensions between people in the room
Sensitive to crowds, feeling very drained or depleted
Flooded or strongly affected by the emotions of others (sudden grief in the body and so on), you might struggle to watch the news because of this
Sensitive to noise and light, more noticeably affected than others around you
Emotionally you:
Are sensitive to the emotions and needs of others and you’re very aware of how everyone in the room is feeling.
Often find yourself becoming the meditator or peace keeper to avoid conflict (or people pleasing) should the need arise.
Feel like you’ve dealt with a number of narcissistic characters in different forms, or ‘energy vampires’. Read more about the traits and personality profile of highly sensitive people, in the links below.
Might find it hard to say no to please others or are unable to set healthy boundaries, suffering with people pleasing tendencies (read more on the traits and personality profile blogs below)
Now as highly sensitive people, do we come into the world this way - or does this come from conditions which give rise to this personality type or from our physical experience of the world? I think there can be three things at play when it comes to the HSP personality profile:
A sensitive soul - naturally gentle and self aware
Exposure to trauma in this life - forming HSP personality habits to stay safe, utilising our sensitivity or increasing it
Experience of trauma from past lives - fear, trauma, personality patterns we arrive with from formative experiences in other lives.
So yes there are a couple of additional layers that could feed into your experience of your sensitivity (!) Therefore a HSP personality can have a number of potential influences from different sources.
Trauma Symptoms
When it comes to trauma symptoms and sensitivity, we have a chicken and egg situation at hand. Does our naturally high sensitivity increase the likelihood of trauma symptoms {as our nervous system gets more easily overwhelmed and increases the likelihood of trauma symptoms?) Or as research shows, is it simply that experience of childhood trauma can affect the sensory and motor development - increasing sensory sensitivity? Or is it both? The jury is out.
Personally I suspect that if you are a HSP or are neurodiverse - you MAY be more susceptible to trauma symptoms due to the intensity of sensations you experience from everyday experiences. It is easy for our nervous system to get overwhelmed by the amount of sensory and social input we experience. This is why self regulation tools are important for HSP’s to process their experiences on an embodied level using somatic practices to process the overwhelm that can be day to day life (particularly if trauma symptoms have featured in our life) such as - breathwork, humming, shaking (TRE), somatic grounding exercises and so on. Check out my free booklet on additional tools I found useful on my free stuff page
Additionally sometimes the trauma response affecting our nervous system and our sensitivity is inherited. There is research which is uncovering the impact of intergenerational trauma - trauma you may feel but you didn’t experience it yourself. If your family experienced traumatic events such as war, the holocaust or slavery - this can have negative mental health effects on the children of survivors. This area of research of ancestral trauma is known as epigenetics. Therefore if some of your experience doesn’t even feel like your own, yet due to your sensitivity you’re aware of it, this might be why.
So you are aware - we can easily be living with trauma symptoms unknowingly as they can be triggered by everyday events (not just war or a car accident). I know as this happened to me. Personally I think many mental health issues are rooted in unprocessed traumatic experiences. They can present as overwhelm, panic attacks, dread, rage or chronic anxiety.
It can make day to day living feel impossible as a HSP, as trauma can impact the parasympathetic nervous system, leading to chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system's ability to restore the body back to rest and relaxation. Again, trauma symptoms live on a spectrum, remember this. It’s important to seek support if you think this might be you, as it can make a world of difference to receive the correct healing support you need - life changing in fact. Trauma symptoms are not a life sentence.
Neurodiversity
30% of the population are non-neurotypical and sensitivity to sensory processing comes with the territory. Again the strength of the traits can be on a spectrum - for example I know my dyslexia to be mild on the scale of things. The traits of neurodiversity can also be masked by intelligence and social adaptation.
Here’s how some of the traits of sensitivity overlap:
Autism - heightened awareness and strong reactions to stimuli, such as noise, light and emotional situations.
ADHD - heightened sensitivity to emotional environments, becoming easily overwhelmed by distractions in the environment
Dyslexia - difference in sensory processing, overstimulation of the brain's auditory cortex and visual crowding (overload)
Sensory processing sensitivity - high sensitivity to sensory input such as sights, smells, textures, sounds. Heightened perceptiveness, deep appreciation for arts, nature, music and excels in intuition. Read a related blog.
Although I recognise for example that I have sensitivity to sensory processing which impacts my response to my environment, I do find that my HSP personality and in my case, dyslexic traits and aligned difficulties can be defined separately - which I also see in ADHD or autistic clients trying to manage their sensitivity.
The opinion of Trauma Specialist, Gabor Mate on ADHD is “Rather than an inherited disease, Attention Deficit Disorder is a reversible impairment and a developmental delay, with origins in infancy. It is rooted in multigenerational family stress and in disturbed social conditions in a stressed society”. He suggests that ADHD is a way of coping with childhood trauma. This is one theory. (Personally I’m not fully onboard with this theory - as I know children who displayed ADHD symptoms from a young age in very loving and stable homes). However this again is an example of demonstrating another potential cross over between trauma as a trigger for neurodiversity and sensitivity.
Another example of crossover is in the categories of neurodiversity itself. I remember being on retreat and speaking to someone who was autistic and dyslexic. I spoke about my experience as a dyslexic saying that there were a number of ADHD traits I related too. She said, well it’s all on a spectrum and they overlap - you don’t just sit in one box or another which was a lit bulb moment for me. I realised - okay so I have a few traits however I wouldn’t identify with the full diagnosis, but that was helpful in itself.
When it comes to neurodiversity it could serve you to do some research on the subject if you have some suspicions this is something you are working with. I have known a number of women in particular who have had a late diagnosis of ADHD or autism, that experienced a great deal of relief from realising this is due to a condition and they then started to receive the adaptations or support they needed, as well as a better understanding from loved ones or colleagues. Although there can also come grief to process from a lack of earlier support or understanding or adaptions that they could have received with early endeavours at school or in work, as well as the reframe of needs in relationship struggles. If this is you, know that this is a normal experience.
Intuitive or Psychic Sensitivity - the secret curved ball
I remember when I was having a healing crisis due to my trauma symptoms flaring up severely due to multiple triggers - alongside the constant terror and shaking (for a year and a half!), I was also having visions. Recently, I came across a supportive note from that time which reminded me of this, it sat on the fridge from my now husband and said ‘eat three meals a day, stay in the body, resist the temptation to see unicorns’.
At this time I was experiencing a waking up and clearing psychically alongside the releasing of trauma symptoms. As the memories of fear arose from childhood I was shaking, these recollections ranged from the seemingly insignificant - doors slammed in anger, threatening looks or atmospheres, to the more memorable episodes pushing up like an erupting geyser to clear seemingly all at once… I also started to find that I was physically processing traumatic memories from other lifetimes - experiences of being murdered or trauma deaths and so on. I also became more aware of spirit guides. This was far from a choice and the more I tried to be ‘embodied’ - the clearer and stronger it became. I really did fear madness at points as this opened up - yet I was ‘simply’ opening to soul memories and other worlds.
I remember a friend at the time asking ‘oh why don't you open up to these other worlds and dimensions if you're able too?’ I replied that I was completely overwhelmed with the life and world I lived in now, so the thought of any further input felt unbearable!! These days I'm not in a state of trauma and overwhelm as I went through a healing process, it's now gladly cleared. Once this happened I began to learn how to train my sensitivity to be able to open up further to more subtle information such as past lives and spirit guides and so on - to help other people heal.
During my struggles I came across these Ted talks by Phil Borges - Psychosis or Spiritual Awakening and Myths, Shamans and Seers. I found them deeply encouraging at the time. In other, non-western shamanic cultures, psychological breakdown, mental health crisis or visions are seen in a different light - as a sign of shamanic gifts. Equally near death experiences, severe sickness, can become a right of passage for soon to be shamans or healers.
Within this cultural context the individual is seen to be on a journey - that they will come out of the end of it as stronger, if they are having visions or hearing voices it is not stigmatized, instead they receive a mentor to support them. The community understands and believes them. When ready and trained they have an outlet for their talents and sensitivity to other worlds which is of great service to the community - they become a shaman or medicine person. (I have to say this is not my view on all psychosis or mental health experiences).
Psychic opening to this degree is not the case of most of the highly sensitive clients I see - however there have been a few. For some their sensitivity to the world does go beyond simply the dimension we can see and touch on a material plane. So if this resonates, you might be one of them - it’s just something to be aware of. If it does, just know that you can find your own path with it. I’m not trained in shamanism, I studied other healing arts, then developed my own way of working and yet that’s what many clients call my work. I think that for many of us who go through this experience it's not our first time in the role and we can trust the knowledge in the soul to guide us.
I want to close with this. I remember a poignant session I had with a healer at the beginning of my crisis. He went into a light trance and said it would take a year and a half, then I would be healed. At the time, I didn't know how I was meant to get through the day with the level of fear, I was experiencing let alone to do this for the length of time he was suggesting and I told him as much! He said you're going through this, because you know you're strong enough to cope with it and then you help others through the same, which indeed is part of my work now. This is not unique to me, you will be the same. This trial has a purpose; get support, do the deep healing, persevere and learn to use your gifts as you will be able to profoundly help others when you do.
Complexity not simplicity
Our experiences of being highly sensitive are all different and our combination of what makes up the reason for our sensitivity won’t be the same, it will be different elements and influences reflecting our unique experience. Everything written here provides insights from my own journey of learning to understand my experience. It’s been a journey of incredible healing and one that has taken me to a place of respect for the skills my sensitivity in the world has gifted me with. Wherever you are on the exploration of your sensitivity - you will need to have a journey of discovery to find the answers you need.
Further Reading
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